Forgive me, dear, for being excessively blunt, but she had gotten in a delicate condition as a consequence of unseemly behavior with one or more of her unsavory associates, and was thus certainly in no position to pick and choose a more seemly companion for the voyage of holy matrimony."The wife should lie perfectly still during the conjugal act and in no case evince that she is obtaining enjoyment from same."Ha! I do believe this is referred to as "dead arse" in less exalted circles. It would. . WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRSIn an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER TEA BREAK. Anticipation making my fingers twitch as I fight the urge to lift the blindfold before you command me to, your last words still sat in my ears. “Do not remove that until I tell you too, or else you won’t get your treat.” You left straight after that, leaving me alone in this hotel room in nothing but my jockey shorts and the tied fabric around my head, perched on the edge of the grandest wingback armchair I’d ever seen in a place like this. You didn’t even acknowledge my affirmation to your. He was always the hard guy, and not as in, ‘a hard guy is good to find.’As you can imagine, the drinks flowed freely and with music and dancing we were all having a good time and when the party was in full swing, Heather walked in with her new girlfriend Sharon.My ex, Peter, had changed. He was more muscly after regular gym workouts for football but he was still good looking. Bob's ex, Lyndall, was a pretty, tall, brunette and was wearing a figure-hugging red halter neck top and matching.
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